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Mama, Daddy, I am truly sorry that you have left me. I will always miss you. I will always wish that you would choose to want to know me again. And I will always appreciate the things you did for me that helped me become the man I am today... with all of my strengths and flaws. There will be many things I will remember fondly and many things that I will not be able to recall without tears or pain. I cannot say at the end of this "it was all for the best." Nor can I say "this was meant to happen for a reason." All I CAN say is "this happened" and "this changed me" and "this was part of my journey to being the man I am today." And I suppose that is all the closure I can hope for, and I think in the end, it will be enough. I hope that you have found or will find some closure as well. I hope that you will live on in peace and heal as well. I hope that you find fulfillment in your own ways as I have found mine. I hope that you never forget how to love me, as I will never forget that I love you. And I hope that you can be happy in this life and whatever may come next. I hope that, if there is another life, we can start over there and find our family again. But if not, know that I still carry pieces of you with me and I always will.
Love, Evan
Love, Evan
Today I got called Something
Today I got called Something. I'm quite certain the person didn't mean anything by it. She seemed polite and friendly and was just flustered when she first started to call me "sir" and then second-guessed herself and that's just the word that came out. I don't feel angry at her at all or blame her for the slip. But I have to say, it still doesn't feel good.
In many ways, I'm very fortunate as a transgender person to be in the situation I am, surrounded by a generally supportive and understanding culture and group of peers. While academia certainly still has its flaws, it's a relative oasis of safety for someone like me. I honestly have
Scaling down
Hi! So, I'm scaling down my presence on Deviant Art for now... not that I'm on all that much anyway. For the moment, that mostly just means I am no longer following most groups and probably won't post a lot of new content. However, I still come on here to hang out in the chats from time to time while I'm doing my homework or research or grading and I may still upload things when I feel up to it. I will try to also post on my journal ever so often for those lovely friends I've made here that follow up on my infrequent posts. So... not huge changes for most of you. Have a great day!
Talk about yourself!
I wanted to get that last journal off of my page for a bit, so to any of my watchers or those who wander by my page, please take a second to tell me 3 (or more) fun things or stories about yourselves! I'm all ears.
Dear Sister,
I am not sending you a card or a gift for your birthday this year. You will undoubtedly notice the absence of communication and might wonder why. You probably have a pretty good idea, but you will also probably come up with embellished reasons for my silence: I am mentally ill, or I am bitter against the family for being righteous, or I am unable to deal with disagreeing viewpoints, or I am just doing it to hurt the people who love me. I've heard these accusations from you or the rest of the family at various times, so I figure they'll likely make another appearance. I also figure I'm not likely to change your perceptions. For that reason, I'
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Oh, no
I haven't been on here in over a year. I came back, and one of the first things I did was check on you, and I see this.
I am so, so sorry I am so sorry. I just hate this for you.
A million hugs sent your way, friend.
I haven't been on here in over a year. I came back, and one of the first things I did was check on you, and I see this.
I am so, so sorry I am so sorry. I just hate this for you.
A million hugs sent your way, friend.