Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconeternalgeekexposed: More from EternalGeekExposed


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
December 1, 2012
File Size
3.2 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
4,717 (1 today)
Favourites
342 (who?)
Comments
394
Downloads
33
×
I've been seeing quite a few people condemning gay folks for being "too open", trying to shove gayness in peoples' faces, and making gayness their defining characteristic.  I can't speak for all gay people, but I have just a few things to say about this.


First, how can someone be too open or too forward about who they are?  After all, being gay is nothing to be ashamed of.  Our society has moved past that archaic idea.  Thus, there is no reason should we feel we have to be careful and discreet about how much we reveal about our sexuality.  I don't introduce myself with "hi, I'm Anna and I'm gay," but when conversations on relationships, politics, gay rights, or my significant other come up, I'm not shy about saying that I am a lesbian.  If that offends you, the fault is yours, not mine.


Secondly, many people misinterpret normal behaviors as being innately gay.  I've known straight men that have many stereotypically gay mannerisms and many straight women who wear boyish clothes and act stereotypically masculine.  All they are doing is acting out their personality.  When I wear boyish clothes or act masculine, I am doing the same.  That personality would be mine regardless of my sexuality and I refuse to alter it because someone thinks it is "camp" or "butch".  If it offends you, the fault is yours, not mine.


Thirdly, accepting that I am gay does not mean that it is my sole defining characteristic.  Being open about it doesn't mean that I identify as gay over everything else.  People who claim this are seeing only what they want to see.  I am just as open about being a physicist as I am about being gay.  I am just as open about being a dork as I am about being gay.  I am just as open about supporting my friends as I am about being gay.  I am just as open about liking to cook as I am about being gay.  I am just as open about being a tutor as I am about being gay.  In other words, my entire personality is out of the closet for public view, but some people zero in only on my sexual orientation because that is the part they feel should stay in the closet.  That isn't their decision; it's mine.  If it offends you, the fault is yours, not mine.


Finally, I am aware that I write and speak a lot about gay activism, and my experience with coming out.  This isn't something I am ashamed of.  I have spent a good part of my life feeling shame and fear about admitting this part of me.  Being able to plainly state who I am is a part of the healing process.  Being able to help others who are or were in my situation is part of the healing process and hopefully part of their healing process as well.  How does my openness in any way harm you badly enough to deny us our healing?  If you are offended, the fault is yours, not mine.


People who complain that people are "too gay" need to get over themselves.  We aren't trying to be special snowflakes.  We are trying to be ourselves.  If you are offended, the fault is yours, not ours.
I've just stumbled across a few people on tumblr and facebook lately who are complaining about how they don't mind gay people but only when they aren't "pushing their gayness in everyone's face." I have a few things to say about this. Happy to hear from you, but keep it civil and concise or I will block. Have a nice day!

EDIT: OH MY GOODNESS you guys. I've gotten so much activity on this piece that I honestly can't read through it all. I really appreciate all of the support and opinions being expressed (well, most of them) so don't think you're being ignored. However, since I can only access the internet for a limited time every day, I really can't read and respond to every comment at this rate. All I can say is THANK YOU and feel free to continue discussions, but keep them civil. If I get any reports in my mailbox or front page of abuse here, I will block like a motherfucker. =) Thank you again, and good night!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconstoryofagirlgonebi:
StoryOfAGirlGoneBi Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i think it is very terrible when people do this especially since i always want to jump up and hug those that have the slightly 'gay' nature since i find it funny and endearing. i personally have a very good sense of who is just being themselves or 'judge of character' i suppose and typically the only problem i have had was with many people at my school who might be pretending to be lesbian or the people that are outright rude and i flip tables around that kind of thing. xD
Reply
:iconeternalgeekexposed:
"Pretending to be lesbian?" I'm not sure what that looks like.  Can you explain?
Reply
:iconstoryofagirlgonebi:
StoryOfAGirlGoneBi Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
not really sure how to explain it more than they are people that are literally mocking the struggles that people go through. i have seen them go as far as dating guy and even making homophobic slurs yet calling themselves lesbians. a few of them that are not doing that might truly be lesbian but hang out with those that are acting in such manners which can make them be confused among those that are being very mean about it.
Reply
:iconeternalgeekexposed:
That does sound pretty ugly.  I never know what kids these days will be up to, haha!
Reply
:iconmr-herp-derp:
Mr-Herp-Derp Jun 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I admit to being homophobic at one point. But I learned that there is NOTHING WRONG with being gay. I learned being gay isn't a disease, it's just a way of life that doesn't take away the fact that homosexuals are still human. It bothers me that people are so against gays.

Sorry if I sound Biased or rude.
Reply
:iconeternalgeekexposed:
No, not biased or rude at all. I used to be homophobic too, due to my upbringing. Then I turned out gay. ^^; I'm glad you gained perspective. People like you keep giving me hope that the future is going to be better.
Reply
:iconmr-herp-derp:
Mr-Herp-Derp Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I hope more people will follow in my footsteps, that they drop their homophobia and learn to coexist with gays.
Reply
:icontails-sama:
tails-sama May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Some people take the negative stereotypes about gay people and try to live those out as their personality, and that bothers me as a bisexual girl.

However, I'm sure most of these people get bent out of shape just seeing a couple hold hands, and stereotypical "gay" behavior isn't even a factor. because, well, they're jerks. Great piece!
Reply
:iconeternalgeekexposed:
Honestly, I really don't have a problem with stereotypically gay behavior either. Some gay folks just have that personality. It shouldn't be seen as better or worse than any other, in my opinion. I have known straight people who act like that too (and I admit I was suspicious when I was informed he was straight, lol). "Acting gay" shouldn't be treated as inferior, but nor should it be treated as the only way a gay person should act.
Reply
:iconv-e-r-b-o-s-e:
Very well said. Kudos!
Reply
Add a Comment: